everyone has something special, guess i just wanted a ghost

i really should try and start sleeping.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm becoming more and more self-loathing, almost to the point of not being able to see any pictures of myself or look in a mirror, weird huh? but yeah its creeping me out.
I think I'm going to become a song writer for like pop-stars or something, I think I have the formula down, but can't write actual music
so that might be a problem.

I don't have work thursday cause of warped tour. I'm happy that i'm playing it this year, every year since i've been old enough to want to be in a band i've always said "well yeah next year i'll be playing"...and finally i am.
I hate how i feel this way and I know its only because i'm tired. Work is sucking the life out of me and I think I might quit soon.
I need to move out asap, i've been here too long. I have moved out twice and moved back in, so i dotn feel like too much of a piece of shit, but my parents are really riding me for some reason and i'm like...i'm 23 i dont have to take this, so yeah, josh lets get cracking.

overwhelming fear takes hold of aspiration...i've said it before and i'll say it again, that lyric sums up 98% of my entire existance, kinda neat that I wrote it in a few seconds. hmm, yes.

Good bye anchors away, i will miss you boys, and will live vicariously through you.

I don't know how many countless meaningful relationships i've ruined this past year, its getting ridiculous.

I hate how I feel so numb to everything, I miss the excitement of life. Like when we did our first tour back in October and life was so new and fun. I wish i didnt know now what i didnt know then.